Thursday, 10 January 2013

الد الذهاب جانبية (The Father of Going Sideways)

Windas conned me into going to Egypt with him for three weeks over November/December 2012, with talk of semi-nudity, some astrological space shit that didn't even make no sense and cheap kicks a-plenty...

...the psychedelic decor was an added bonus.
the protesting/rioting/shit-hitting-various-fans made for some interesting travels, to...

those Egyptians really go to town with their road-blocks

life & death (and a billion other things besides) litter the streets of Cario

the 'Man' ain't too popular out there

running repairs
donkey hitchin's' some good hitchin'

Tahrir Square (Liberation Square) in Cario was a fairly intense scene; the protesters have taken control of the whole area, erecting manned (although, 'child-ed' is actually more accurate) road-blocks the whole way around the area. As honkeys, we were regularly checked going into the square, the shakedown usually ending in a kiss on both cheeks, a bear hug, and an undying exaltation of love for the motherland (theirs, not ours).   
these b&w snaps were shot on the morning of Tuesday 4th, December, 2012. Later that afternoon, rival groups of protesters (pro & anti-Mohamed Morsi) clashed in Tahrir, resulting in the deaths of 7 and many others injured.

Brotha Lynch Hung

Arab Napoleon Dynamite had some serious nun-chuck skills. 

this was our first glimpse of them famous lumps...we got out to Giza late, not realizing that they actually shut the Pyramids at 4pm...who would have thought it?
so, instead of battling the cut-throat traffic back to the Youth Hostel in Cario, we ended up slipping some guy a bit of loot to let us sleep up on his roof, this was our view in the morning as the sun came up...(we didn't inquire too hard as to the cache of Molotov Cocktails he had stashed up there...somethings are better left unsaid)
stoopid tourist photos

Nelly can't read.

this scrap was one of loads we happened upon...this one amounting to not much more than some shouting, pushing and general argy-bargy...another time, I saw a kid get sparked clean out by a raging guy brandishing a length of 2'x4', I shot a photo, the flash went off and I nearly got sparked out shortly thereafter for my troubles! I managed to miss the action by a mile it goes.

these 2 snaps are from one of two huge graveyards that stretch out across northern Cairo called the cities of the dead, as apparently up to 500,000 folks who are still alive and (relatively) well inhabit them, along with the deceased.

not knowing where you're going is end up wandering down the happiest streets around.

A trip down to the Bent Pyramid of Dahsur...we got off the bus in completely the wrong place, and ended up inadvertently 'sneaking' into the pyramids, via a village, a graveyard and then some desert...wandering up to the ancient lumps and not a soul around stirred something pretty ancient-feeling in my bones...(non-euphemism) 

when foo's are sleepin', Bent Pyramid's getting climbed, son. Word is born.

'ere mate, your moped's fallen o'er.

'ere mate, you've got something on the back of your shoe...
running repairs...on route to Alexandria.

...which some oad Greek described as the Anus of the World, apparently.
(bit harsh, really...)

"...and don't come back till you've fount me and ya mam some treasure, reet!"
Egyptian Bobby DeNiro had some great yarns to tell; about his younger day's sailing the seven seas (or however many) as part of the Merchant Navy...daring out the bedroom window escapes from young English girl's parents whilst docked in London and all that... 

they were protesting up in Alexandria to...

whilst in Egypt, I overheard a number of folks lamenting the current political state of affairs out there, and heard several times over the opinion expressed that what Egypt needs to sort her out is a good Hitler (honestly, they seem to love ol' Adolf out there.) Here, this view is expressed sub-consciously via the medium of dominoes. 

sailors & whores.

ancient Vespa breaking system.

the Oracle of Alexander the Great, up in Siwa Oasis (about 2 hours across the desert from Libya) didn't impart any great wisdoms upon us, more's the pity. we did eat some dates fresh from the palm (tree) however.

fun-boys on tour, 2012. (that dude was totally pretending to be on his phone)

shooting for dinner (pigeons or something)

those dudes...
Ahmed Hitler's Third Reich Spices
what proceeded this photo was something boarding on the sublime; the taller fella; bending over, was a massively camp fruit-seller, peddling oranges from a cart in an amazingly loud, and effeminate manner...the old fella on the floor had purchased some oranges, and then as he was walking away, ol' fruity boots rushed him from behind, bundling him over, sending his fruit flying and then yoinked his Jilbab up over his head, exposing his undies to the world (he was wearing a petty-coat, I swears it) Orange boy then went back to his kinky stall as if nothing had happened and no one helped the old guy out...I was too busy getting my camera stuck in my pocket and laughing to be of much use. so it goes.

shukran for not killing us, Egypt, you crazy bastard.


  1. Fair few restoration projects there. Cracking photos. The Hitler dominoes made me laugh.

  2. Love this post. I'm coming back later, but I've got to get on with some work. G